‘John,’ I said. ‘Turn around and see this lady.’ He slowly turned. His face was still the color of ashes, and he looked ten years older, like a once powerful man at last losing a long battle with consumption. His eyes were cast down on his prison slippers, and he looked as if he wished for a hat…
Indian Taker- Bound With Time
If I could ask her a single thing. It would be,
“How do you make me feel so pure, like I am seen?”
Her heart stretched as far as one could see,
Hard to pass her up, it was me.
Mild spring days, is what we were,
Mustn’t we forget, he was what you preferred.
Your love for him would never break.
No matter how hard you tried to run away.
As hard as I tried I could never break,
Her love for him, it was bound with time.
The waiting game, I was losing, don’t you see?
Your love for him, it was bound with time.
Was it fun holding close to what you felt was home?
With a season’s change you’d lost all you had known.
Was it fun holding close to what you felt was home?
With a season’s change I no longer felt alone.
The weather always tells the truth,
April knows much more than me and you.
XXXII
We walked back as the moon left the womb of the sun. I felt tensely warm but I was comfortable. As departure arrived beckoning the woman I was with I held her not wanting to let her go. Suddenly a familiar feeling came back to me. All of this after an hour of laughter we shared together that night. Once I had let go that feeling left me.
I went back home to notice that feeling was trailing my footsteps. I turned to look at it and it disappeared. I could feel it stalking me.
Soul Search- Depth
I wanted to give you the patience I thought you needed
But I couldn’t help to feel ashamed when I begged and pleaded
For you to try and understand that i gave all I had
No will, no can, I’m just a fuckin’ man
All efforts made, all done in vain
I’m just ready to watch you sink
Into the ground, nowhere to be found
Down, down, down
Now alone, I’ve retreated to the depths of my despair
It’s out of the question that you would even fuckin’ care
I don’t need you to tell me where i went wrong
So many times i’ve sang the same old fuckin song
All efforts made, all done in vain
I’m just ready to watch you sink
Into the ground, nowhere to be found
Down, down, down
If I treated you like shit, you would love me forever
Unfortunately, i never gave you the pleasure
Alll that remains are the fuckin scars in my mind
Farewell. Goodbye.
See you when I die
XXXI
Dawn’s approaching and I retire to bed weary and weeping
I lay in my bed staring up but not sleeping
I gaze into the rafters others hung
I thought of their ordeals and songs they once sung
Looking upward a hand beckoned me
“Come, you seem to be a troubled man”
I reached and was being pulled to another land
At the last minute I pulled away wanting to stay for another day
That other day became many, only to fall apart. I was scaling mountains and falling from them only to get up and walk away. I looked back at them telling myself I would return and I did so only to fall once again and I was harmed for only so long. It’s a never ending pattern, from black to white and back again.
I can’t see a future.
XXX
My skin turns red with anxiousness as my mind races. Slowly I feel myself losing it more and more, yet it produces horrid instruments for my own death. I feel my head slipping away and my hand slips away as well shaking as I continue to ponder more and more.
Blood rushes with me in a creek. I want to be alone.
